you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
