I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
