he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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