I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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