Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
