Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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