Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
