dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
