before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
