Sry I called you an 8
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
