Me too!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
