Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
