I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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