It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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