She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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