butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
