Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we should paint friendship bongs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
