So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
