Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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