I think i peed on brittanys purse
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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