Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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