I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
is it fun? or sober?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
