I cannot find my penis.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
