the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
