standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
is it fun? or sober?
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