Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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