Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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