watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
