Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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