atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
