I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
