Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
