I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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