Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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