two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
