apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
