wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
