Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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