I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
