he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
