thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
