you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
