She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
