im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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