I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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