dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
