i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
