47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
