There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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