Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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