So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
